Parenting is a journey filled with love and joy but also uncertainties. It can be very difficult to distinguish between normal developmental behaviors and behaviors that require children’s counseling. To make it easier for parents, we have created a step-by-step guide to determine when therapy would be beneficial for your child.
In this guide, we will explore the signs that may indicate your child needs therapy, the various types of therapy available, and how to approach the situation with your child. By the end of this article, you will have a clearer understanding of when to seek help and how to support your child through this process.
The Importance of Early Intervention
Before diving into the signs and symptoms, it is important to emphasize the significance of early intervention. Most children who come into child therapy for behavioral issues, grief, anxiety, divorce, aggression, school, friend issues, etc. all have one thing in common. That is a difficulty in emotional regulation and resiliency. We at WHCC call it emotional fitness. Just like working out our muscles at the gym and our brain at school, our nervous system also needs a workout. Imagine if you had a chance to learn how to slow down, shift your mindset, and express yourself in an assertive way as a child. How different would your life be? How much easier would it be to manage the stress of daily life if you were taught some of these skills as a child? Many children come in with negative belief systems around emotions which essentially make the emotions worse, such as “anger is bad,” “sad is for babies,” etc. When we look at those belief systems and help children accept their emotions, they can feel the feelings in their bodies and can move forward in a more resilient way to be their best selves. This is our 4-phase approach to emotional fitness:
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- Emotional Acceptance
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- Shifting Our Mindset
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- Body Soothing Work
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- Sense of Self
Understanding Normal Developmental Behaviors
Remember a child’s brain is still developing, so it is important to understand that some behaviors, although overwhelming, are normal for brain development. However, it is essential to differentiate between what is considered a normal part of brain development versus what would be a cause for concern.
Toddlerhood (Ages 1-3):
Normal Behaviors: Tantrums, separation anxiety, and clinginess are typical at this age as toddlers learn to assert their independence while still needing the security of their caregivers. Throwing things, being rough, biting, and hitting can also be a normal part of the child’s development as they start to understand their body in space and time.
When to Worry: Persistent, intense tantrums that are difficult to soothe, excessive aggression or biting (multiple times a day), or a lack of interest in social interactions might indicate a need for further evaluation.
Preschool Age (Ages 3-5):
Normal Behaviors: Fear of the dark, imaginary friends, and occasional defiance are common as preschoolers explore their imagination and test boundaries. It is also normal at this stage to see different temperament styles in your child. Some are more strong-willed and some are more sensitive. These children may display normal behaviors differently, but it is still part of their normal development.
When to Worry: Consistent withdrawal from play, extreme fears or phobias, or regression in previously acquired skills (e.g., potty training) could signal underlying issues. When looking at personality, a sensitive child who is excessively struggling with loud noises, textures, or food aversion can benefit from sensory-based therapy. A strong-willed child who is excessively defiant at home and/or school and doesn’t seem to be impacted by discipline can benefit from therapy or parent coaching.
School Age (Ages 6-12):
Normal Behaviors: Developing friendships, occasional school-related stress, and some resistance to authority are typical as children navigate the social world and academic expectations. It is also normal to hear children talk about fears of not doing well in sports, grades, or STAAR testing.
When to Worry: Behaviors such as difficulty getting to school, sleep issues, reports of being bullied or bullying behaviors, or low self-esteem could benefit from child therapy.
Adolescence (Ages 13-18):
Normal Behaviors: Mood swings, a desire for independence, and experimentation with identity are common as teenagers develop their sense of self.
When to Worry: Persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness, risky behaviors, or a noticeable change in eating or sleeping patterns could be signs of a more serious issue.
Signs Your Child May Need Therapy
While it’s normal for children to experience ups and downs, certain behaviors or emotional states may indicate the need for therapy. Here are some signs to watch for:
Persistent Behavioral Issues
What to Look For: Frequent temper tantrums, defiance, aggression, or self-harm that don’t improve with typical parenting strategies.
Why It Matters: Persistent behavioral problems can be a sign of underlying emotional distress, ADHD, or other mental health conditions. Therapy also gives the child an opportunity to learn emotional regulation skills while the brain is still developing make a bigger impact in the child’s future.
Difficulty in School
What to Look For: A sudden drop in grades, difficulty getting the child to go to school, trouble focusing, conflicts with peers and teachers, or reports of anxiety and fears associated with school.
Why It Matters: School difficulties can be a sign of anxiety, depression, learning disabilities, or social problems that may require professional intervention.
Social Withdrawal
What to Look For: Avoidance of social interactions, difficulty making or keeping friends, or a preference for being alone most of the time.
Why It Matters: Social withdrawal can be a symptom of anxiety, depression, or autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Some children also have a more internalizing temperament in which they hold in their emotions. Early intervention can help them express themselves and understand their emotions to help prevent future depression or feelings of loneliness.
Excessive Worry or Fear
What to Look For: Overwhelming anxiety, fear of specific situations or objects, or obsessive behaviors that interfere with daily life.
Why It Matters: Anxiety disorders are common in children and can significantly impact their ability to function if left untreated. Anxiety can also get worse over time, leading to OCD traits or OCD disorder.
Eating or Sleeping Issues
What to Look For: Significant changes in appetite or weight, difficulty falling or staying asleep, or frequent nightmares. Some children have a history of food sensitivities and sleep issues that have not improved over time.
Why It Matters: Changes in eating or sleeping habits can be associated with depression, anxiety, or trauma. Children can also have sensory aversion issues that impact their eating.
Emotional Outbursts or Mood Swings
What to Look For: Frequent crying, irritability, or extreme mood swings that seem disproportionate to the situation.
Why It Matters: These behaviors can indicate mood disorders such as depression or anxiety. It can also indicate an irritable nervous system that gets stuck in fight, flight, or freeze and needs more soothing therapy techniques.
Physical Complaints Without a Medical Cause
What to Look For: Frequent headaches, stomachaches, or other physical symptoms that do not have a clear medical explanation.
Why It Matters: Physical complaints can sometimes be a manifestation of emotional distress, particularly in children who may have difficulty expressing their feelings verbally.
Traumatic Experiences
What to Look For: A child who has experienced trauma (e.g., loss of a loved one, divorce, abuse, adoption, etc.) may exhibit signs of PTSD, such as flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, or behavioral issues.
Why It Matters: Early intervention is crucial in helping children process trauma and prevent long-term psychological effects.
Self-harm or Suicidal Thoughts
What to Look For: Any signs of self-harm (e.g., cutting, burning) or expressions of wanting to harm oneself or end one’s life.
Why It Matters: These are serious indicators of mental health struggles that require immediate attention from a mental health professional.
Types of Therapy for Children
If you recognize some of the signs mentioned above in your child, it is essential to know that there are various types of therapy tailored to the unique needs of children. Here are some of the most common therapeutic approaches:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
What It Is: CBT focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors. It is particularly effective for anxiety, depression, and behavioral issues.
How It Helps: CBT equips children with coping strategies to manage their emotions and behaviors, helping them build resilience and self-regulation skills.
Play Therapy
What It Is: Play therapy uses play as a medium for children to express their feelings and experiences. It is commonly used with younger children who may struggle to articulate their emotions verbally. Play therapy can be combined with other modalities like CBT, Family Therapy, etc.
How It Helps: Through play, children can work through emotional conflicts, trauma, and anxiety in a safe and supportive environment.
Family Therapy
What It Is: Family therapy involves the entire family in the therapeutic process, focusing on improving communication, resolving conflicts, and strengthening family dynamics.
How It Helps: It helps address issues that may be rooted in family dynamics and ensures that the entire family supports the child’s healing process.
Sand Tray Therapy
What It Is: Here at WHCC we have sand trays in the office of each child therapist. We utilize the sand tray to help the child choose figures/toys that represent different emotions or create an image that helps them externalize the emotions that they feel in a safe non-threatening way. It is particularly useful for children who find it challenging to verbalize their feelings or have a more concrete lens of the world.
How It Helps: San tray therapy provides a non-verbal outlet for children to explore their emotions and experiences, promoting healing and self-awareness.
Tailored Parent Coaching
What It Is: Many parents tell us at WHCC that they have brought their child to therapy before but were not given any skills or techniques to help them at home. It is hard with all the parenting advice out there to know what approach to take. At WHCC we look at your child’s temperament and personality to help you get a more tailored approach. From the strong-willed to the sensitive child, and all the temperaments in between, we coach parents through the ups and downs of it all.
How It Helps: Parent Coaching gives parents tools to implement strategies in the moment it happens for optimal brain development.
Regulation Therapy
What It Is: Regulation therapy focuses on helping children understand their own nervous system and learn ways to regulate it. Many of our therapists are trained in Theraplay which uses the sensory system to help regulate and soothe a child’s nervous system. This impactful therapy can be done in session and at home to increase emotional resiliency in children.
How It Helps: Regulation therapy can improve a child’s nervous system helping them experience fewer fight/flight moments and reduce reactive, anxious, or shutdown behaviors.
LENS Neurofeedback
What It Is: LENS Neurofeedback is a safe, non-invasive treatment that uses low grade energy (600 times lower than a cell phone) to apply feedback to the brain to soothe the nervous system.
How It Helps: LENS is a short therapy (can take up to only 10 minutes/10-12 sessions) in which we look at your child’s specific brain map and apply feedback to the areas of the brain that would be the most helpful to regulate your child. This therapy is great for anxiety, ADHD, trauma, or other stress responses.
How to Approach the Subject with Your Child
If you’ve noticed signs that your child may need therapy, approaching the subject can be delicate. Here are some tips on how to discuss therapy with your child in a supportive and non-threatening way:
Choose the Right Time and Place
Find a quiet, private space where your child feels safe and comfortable. Avoid bringing up the topic when your child is upset, distracted, or around other siblings.
Use Age-Appropriate Language
Tailor your explanation to your child’s age and developmental level. For younger children, you might say, “We’re going to see someone who can help us talk about our feelings.” For older children, you can be more direct about the benefits of therapy.
Normalize Therapy
Emphasize that therapy is a normal and healthy way to get support, just like going to the doctor when you’re sick. You can also mention that many people, including adults, see therapists to help them with different challenges.
Be Honest and Reassuring
Be honest about why you think therapy could be helpful, but also reassure your child that they are not in trouble and that therapy is a safe space to explore thoughts and emotions.
Use Metaphors
The “Inside Out” movies are a great way to explain feelings to kids and how therapy can help them talk about all the feelings they have.
Get Started with Child Counseling in Katy, TX Today!
If you’re looking for a personalized, flexible approach to therapy that truly meets your child’s unique needs, self-pay may be the right option for your family. At WHCC, we provide customized treatment plans designed to help your child thrive without the constraints of insurance. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, behavioral issues, or simply want to give your child the best possible care, we’re here to support you. Reach out today to explore how self-pay therapy can make a difference for your family!
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Other Services at WHCC
In addition to child therapy, WHCC offers a wide range of services to support the entire family. Our team provides teen therapy to help adolescents navigate emotional challenges, and adult therapy to address personal growth, mental health, and well-being. We also specialize in parent coaching, offering tailored strategies to support parents in fostering healthy relationships with their children. For couples, we provide marriage or relationship counseling to strengthen connections and improve communication. Our trauma therapy helps individuals heal from past experiences, while LENS neurofeedback offers a cutting-edge approach to managing anxiety, ADHD, and more.